


still out there hoping to be found

by botherd



Category: Jessica Jones (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-23 19:48:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8340394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/botherd/pseuds/botherd
Summary: For the first time in months Trish feels a glimmer of hope that sometime in the future, things might be okay.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [willowcabins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/willowcabins/gifts).



The last of the sun slips below the horizon, taking the last remnants of warmth with it. There's something almost tangible about the twilight air around them; comforting, like a cloak, and Trish watches as something settles in Jessica as the darkness gathers. Her hands relax around the camera she's holding.

They've been on this rooftop for an hour already, Jessica's gaze trained steadily on a window in the building opposite. Any minute now they're expecting IGH operatives to show for a rendezvous. The mission is strictly recon — not that Jessica exactly explained it in those terms to Trish — which is the only reason why Trish was allowed to tag along.

Despite what happened at the ferry terminal a couple of months ago it's taken Jessica a while to allow Trish to help out with this stuff. Maybe _because_ of what happened at the ferry terminal. Trish isn't sure isn't sure if Jessica is trying to protect her or herself.

But that's okay. Trish is patient. She doesn't mind earning her place.

The buzz of the city seems louder in the darkness — a car horn honking, an argument a block away, the thump of a bassline in an apartment below them — but Trish can still hear when Jessica sighs slightly, the first indication of frustration.

"Sorry your first stakeout is so boring," Jessica says, and Trish laughs softly and nudges Jessica's side.

"It's fine. I wanted to come."

"You wanted to make sure I didn't do anything stupid."

"Someone has to," Trish says, and she shrug. "Jess, I just want to help." The words come out more plaintive than Trish intended and she ducks her head, a little embarrassed. She still feels the sting of uselessness from the time she got tased, and wonders how long it will take before she's redeemed herself.

Not that Jessica thinks she needs redeeming; Trish is fairly sure of that. Jessica smiles at her, fond and reassuring, the kind of look that's only reserved for Trish.

"I don't need you to help out," Jessica says. "Not that I don't appreciate the company, I just mean that I'm fine. I've got this."

Trish shrugs. "I don't mind being your sidekick."

Jessica rolls her eyes. "You're hardly a sidekick."

Across the street there's movement and Trish tenses up, watching Jessica as she tightens her grip on her camera, but the men walk straight past the apartment building they're watching. False alarm. Jessica sighs and reaches into the inside pocket of her leather jacket, swearing under her breath when she can't find what she's looking for.

Clearly she hadn't thought beforehand to take some whiskey with her; Trish is going to take that as a good sign.

They stand in silence for a while; a few minutes, maybe, but it feels like longer. Eventually Trish says, "Shouldn't these guys be here by now? Are you sure we have the right place?"

"I'm sure. You don't have to stick around if you're bored."

"I'm not bored," Trish protests. "Maybe a little cold." The wind has picked up and they're exposed out there on the roof. She shoves her hands into the pockets of her red coat and wishes she'd thought to bring a scarf.

Jessica sets down the camera on the ledge and touches Trish's back, starting to rub comforting circles. It doesn't really do much for the cold but it's nice, the kind of physical closeness they haven't had in awhile. Jessica was never the most tactile person, even less so after Kilgrave.

Trish finds herself leaning into the touch.

The glow of city lights makes Jessica's features look softer, somehow — or maybe it's her expression as she looks at Trish in a rare moment of calm. The set of her jaw relaxes, her mouth falling slightly open, and Trish's breath hitches in her chest as old urges make themselves felt again. It's not the first time she's wanted to kiss Jessica.

When they were fourteen or fifteen, sometimes they would sit next to each other on Trish's bed, watching movies. Whenever a sex scene came up Trish would feel her whole body blushing, not really understanding why, and Jessica would just laugh. It only made sense later, when Jessica fell asleep after the movie finished and Trish found herself staring at her too long while she thought about what she'd just seen.

Next time they watched a movie together Trish put a couple of inches more distance between them and picked a movie with a lower rating. But their fingers brushed when they reached for popcorn at the same time, and the feelings never went away.

She never acted on it, of course. Her life had been spiralling out of control in a million different ways; she didn't need to jeopardise her relationship with the one person who made her feel safe.

When they got older their relationship hit that sweet spot where they were both closest to okay, after Trish's recovery and before Kilgrave, and Trish started thinking about it more. Sometimes it seemed like it could be so easy just to lean over and kiss Jessica, to show her everything she'd come to mean to Trish. It could be so easy, and she was almost sure that Jessica would reciprocate, but every time she got close she made herself stop. Screwing up their relationship wouldn't accomplish anything.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Jessica says.

Trish hadn't realized she was staring. "Like what?"

Jessica laughs. "Like you want to kiss me or something."

"That's not how I'm looking at you." Trish rolls her eyes, trying to play it off, but she can feel the words sticking awkwardly in her throat and when she chances a glance at Jessica, she's raising an eyebrow.

"Okay," Jessica says, but Trish knows she's not buying it. Jessica has always seen straight through her.

"Look, Jessica, it's nothing. Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal." She realizes Jessica's hand is still on her back and she tenses under the touch, but Jessica doesn't pull away. 

"I get it," Jessica says. "You don't want to mess up our relationship."

"Exactly."

"That's usually my job, anyway." Jessica gives her a wry smile and reaches out to tuck a lock of hair behind Trish's ear. Before Trish fully realizes what's happening, Jessica is leaning forward, kissing her more gently than Trish would have ever imagined. A gasp escapes Trish's mouth and Jessica takes it as an invitation to deepen the kiss, coaxing Trish's mouth open. Trish reaches out to grip Jessica's waist, kissing back hard, until eventually she makes herself pull away.

"This is a bad idea."

"It doesn't have to be," Jessica says. "I know I'm fucked up, Trish, but if this doesn't work out I'm not going to break."

"I just don't want to lose you again."

Jessica opens her mouth to speak but across the street a car pulls up to the building they're watching, distracting them both. A couple of men wearing plain clothes get out of a car and Jessica picks up her camera and starts snapping away as they head into the apartment building they've been watching. They appear in one of the windows for a moment, talking to someone Trish can't see, and two minutes later the men are leaving, one carrying a briefcase bearing an unfamiliar insignia. Jessica takes some more pictures. It should be enough to help them with the next stage of their investigation into IGH, and neither of them had to risk their lives for it.

"I'm glad you're helping people again." Trish runs her hand through her hair and looks up at Jessica. "Maybe it's time to try another costume."

Jessica rolls her eyes as she starts packing her camera away. "Uh, no, it's time for a drink. It's _never_ time for a costume."

Trish laughs, and for the first time in months she feels a glimmer of hope that sometime in the future, things might be okay. "Fine. If you're not going to, maybe I'll try a costume myself."

Jessica looks Trish up and down and raises an eyebrow. "Maybe that's not a bad idea. It would probably look better on you."


End file.
